Description
As team leader crucial conversations are unavoidable. I try to learn from each encounter that I have, because I am continuously growing and take each encounter as a learning experience. Ive had crucial conversations with my staff, residents, and of course difficult family members. My last crucial conversation was with a certified nursing assistant whose work performance has been affected by personal issues that she has at home.
I have had several professional conversations with her regarding her attendance and refusing to accept job assignments with certain staff members. During our conversations she tends to become very defensive and will challenge everything that I address with her, giving an excuse to every issue that I bring up. I try to remain open and understanding because I realize that it is difficult at times to leave your problems at the door when you come to work. My biggest downfall in most of my conversation, is I tend to give my co-workers the benefit of the doubt. I know that there are issues that need to be addressed or I would not be on the verge of having sometimes difficult conversations with them.
In my last discussion, I approached all staff that my certified nursing assistant worked with and discussed issues that they are presenting. I wanted to ensure that I was talking to all staff, and not just certain staff members to get a clear picture of issues that needed to be addressed. I always lay all my information out and write out what needs to be addressed and why its important to be addressed. I list pros and cons of the conversation so I can better prepare for an inevitable outcome. It can help to plan what you want to say by jotting down noted and key points before your conversation (Knight, 2015). No matter how we address issues, how sensitive and understanding we try to be, we are never prepared or even know how the respondent is going to take the conversation. I know from experience that she becomes hostile and defensive when she is approached, with any kind of feedback. I must make sure that I get my emotions in check before I talk with her, because she can tend to challenge your own feelings and make you feel like youre doing or saying something wrong.
My leadership style under stress is most definitely masking. Sources of Insight point out when you have something tough to bring up, you sometimes offer weak or insincere compliments to soften the blow (2022). When I was speaking with her, I commended her on being on time for work for the last week. I want to point out that, while the conversation may be difficult, I do recognize that she is trying. I had to discuss her tardiness and absenteeism during this meeting. I explained to her the policy and procedures for being late and calling in to work. I had to explain to her the effect that it had on the residents care, the staff that has completed their shift and need to get home to their families, and the risk of her getting terminated per policy and agreement that she has signed. When she heard the word terminated, she automatically shut down and started yelling. I had to take several deep breaths to not respond inappropriately and unprofessionally. I simply stated to her, the policy that applies to all employees and not just her. I explained to her with patience and in a matter-of-factly tone that she signed an agreement stating that she understood what could happen if she is consistently late and call-ins not according to our policy.
I asked her if there was a way, we could look at her schedule and adjust, to not risk her being late all the time. I provided her with local information for daycares that operate during her working hours. While she was upset clearly with the conversation, she understood and realized the importance of trying to be more accountable and was thankful and accepting for the information I was giving her.
Since our conversation, she has found daycare that is open during the hours that she works and rides with coworkers that share her same schedule. Crucial conversations are difficult, but they are necessary, showing compassion and respect while maintaining a positive attitude are helpful.
